Posts Tagged‘mental health’

Fuck This

by KitchenRebel on November 12, 2017

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I suffered a devastating loss. A gut punch that knocked the wind right out of me.

I couldn’t get off the couch for 6 days.

I couldn’t breathe it hurt so much.

The only reason I didn’t kill myself was because statistics are not in my favour.

Since I’m stuck here, and I can’t really live on the couch, I might as well start the work of healing. Again.

I thought I’d start writing about it.

Because talking and sharing apparently helps. But I’m not a fan.

But I’m getting so tired of waking up crying.

Crying and suffocating.

The pounding in my head hasn’t stopped since Tuesday. Feels like non stop construction going on all the time. Its so fucking loud.

I thought there was actual construction going on in the neighbourhood. I woke up to pee in the wee hours and thought theres construction happening outside at 2am! Not until mid morning the follow day did I realize the pounding was in my head.

Slow constant loud pounding in my head for 6 days.

Whoooop  Whoooop  Whooooop

Last week a doctor said to me, “… you’re suffering everyday.”  And I made therapist person tear up. And that was when I thought I was doing pretty great. lol I was about to go on my dream vacation.. My childhood dream vacation. No wonder it turned into a nightmare.

Fuck me.

Fuck this.

It time I start being unapologetically authentic.

Living my truth. Sharing my truth.