Posts Tagged‘love yourself’

Gaining Weight and Other Mind Fucks

by KitchenRebel on July 7, 2014

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Losing weight, getting healthy and studying nutrition actually made me lazy!

When my husband was diagnosed with Diabetes I started studying nutrition. Determined that if diet causes diseases, then diet should reverse it. In just a few short months he turned his health around. And I lost a considerable amount of weight. (Over 65lbs and 10 dress sizes)

The only big change we made was going organic. Just eating real food. Avoiding fake food containing chemicals that cause addiction.

The transformation and change in lifestyle was easy. We still had treats and ate our favourites. Once a month or so we had a treat, mine was always sugar (cake or ice cream or chocolate) his was usually fried food (chicken, steak or chips).
But it was so easy getting healthy and losing weight we thought “we got this”. I thought I know what to do, and we can do, we did do it, and it was so very easy we can do it anytime we want.

So we started having treats more often. We went from once a month (or less) to weekly and then almost daily treats. Before I knew it, my weight started creeping back on.

 

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I recognized the mistakes I was making as I was making them, but I tried to live in denial for as long as I could.

I was so disappointed in myself. I vowed I would never again feel bad about my body, never again feel this disconnect and self hate. Feeling like I’m carrying around this body that is not a part of me..This thing I have to live with..

The sluggish mornings were back. The struggle finding clothes that felt comfortable were back.

When you’re spiraling, really it was more of a nice steady cruise, out of control, and feeding sugar and fat dependency, it often feels like its easier and more satisfying to just keep eating. It seems like getting back on track is this huge monumental thing, but its only as hard as the first step.

Someone complimented me, saying, “Don’t get wrong, you looked good when you lost all that weight, but you’ve gained weight and mmmm mmmmm damn you look goooood” He immediately went on to apologize (I think for making so many grunting noises lol) All I heard was “you’re fat” I actually felt angry at him.. and mostly myself.

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But then I was reminded of the day when I wrote this.

I am not defined by my waistline or the number on the scale. No one really notices or cares that much. Just me. The world didn’t stop when my skinny jeans needed a belt to keep them up. Neither did it stop when I was trying to hide my belly and body in big clothes. All that matters is how you feel about you.

Love yourself. Love the journey.

Getting healthy and being the best version of myself is what makes me happiest. And this time around, I’m going to document the process and share it with you. I believe health, weight loss and good nutrition information is free. No gimmicks. No special potions. (I’ve tried most of them!)
I did it the easy way, spending less money and eating better than ever. And it was easy. I want to share that with the world.

I’ve taken my a step back on the happy wagon. Not my first step. I refuse to let myself start over. I’ve taken too many steps to get here. I have the same body I was born with al those years ago.
I’m just taking new steps everyday.
One day at a time.